The Thesaurus. Is anyone with me on this? I friggin' love the thesaurus. What's better than finding a better word? Or finding the perfect word? Euphoria. Thank you people who write the thesaurus.
Hot Showers. Taking a hot shower is often the best part of my day. It's peaceful. You can't take your Iphone or Laptop in there, so it may be the only time, except for sleep, when you can completely disconnect. And who doesn't love hot water massaging their back or bald head? Tell me people: Have you ever felt thankful for a hot shower? Next time you're in there, think about it. Now that I'm at risk for lymphadema, I'm not supposed to get in hot tubs/jacuzzis. Not that I was ever a huge fan of hot tubs (sitting with strangers in bathing suits who may be passing gas is not really my thing), but I liked to take an occasional dip whenever visiting a hotel. Now I can't, but I can always luxuriate in a hot shower. Thank you to the person who invented the hot shower.
The Policeman who Stopped me for Speeding Yesterday but didn't Give me a Ticket.
I don't know his name, but Mr. Policeman who stopped me yesterday in front of the Reading YMCA for going 35 MPH in a 20 MPH zone (as he pointed out), thank you. You did not stop smiling in the short time you talked with me and I'm not sure why you let me off so easily as I was going to whip off my wig and play the cancer card but I did not have to because all you said was, "Please slow down and be careful" and then, still smiling, you left. You are a good man.
Being Triple Positive. Yesterday at the Y's Pink Program (an exercise program for people with breast cancer), I met my polar opposite: a woman who is triple negative, and thus much harder to treat. She told me how she finished chemo a month ago. That she's doing well. But she said she can't stop thinking about dying. The other ladies said, "No, you can' think that way. You need to think positive." But I imagine that's harder to do if you are triple negative. I will think positive thoughts for her. Maybe you can, too?
This Video. Sent to me by my friend Kevin (do you ever read his comments on my blog posts? They truly are brilliant). I'm not a cat person, but I love this. Can someone tell me if that dog is a pit bull? And if it is, why doesn't it just kick the shit out of Peaches?
You are the best human being ever!!!
ReplyDeleteAmy,
ReplyDeleteGreat post. So funny and real, as usual. So, I feel compelled to comment on the cat/dog video. My initial response was going to be that bullies come in all shapes and sizes. But, as I watched, I realized that they are actually play fighting. They're friends. It's okay. And, yes, the dog is a pit bull.
I agree with Sara. They're playing! And I agree with Nili. You are the greatest!! xo
ReplyDeleteSara and Deb: I know they are playing, but this reminds me of my kids. Jonas is the cat; Ethan the dog. It starts out fun, but by the end, Ethan is pissed and someone (usually the cat) gets hurt.
ReplyDeleteI love hot showers, too. I had one this morning as I had been up since 3am with a nauseating headache. (I blame the Arimidex. And allergies. And probably stress.) Now that I'm through with radiation I can have baths again, but there is nothing like a long, hot shower!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on being half way done!
Thesaurus - couldn't agree more. Also love the Columbia Encyclopedia but not as much as the thesaurus (sorry C.E. but I cannot lie, my name is Cassandra after all).
ReplyDeleteHot shower --- greatest invention since the flush toilet. My favorite hot showers were after long hot days in August working on a farm that featured sheep, meat cows and pigs. Shower power has never been grander than after a hot humid afternoon spent scraping down a piggery. Promise.
The policeman thought you were Tina Fey.
May Chemo 3 THE BIG HALFWAY!!!!! be as gentle in its aftereffects as chemo 2.
And, I will watch the dog/cat video though I am at high risk for becoming marked as someone with too much free time on their hands as I watched the memorial video to a cat that played with a great dane as it grew from puppy to grandiose canine.
Slankets full of moldy green love Amy. Imagine you are lying on a cloud of fluffy buttery mashed potatoes. xoxo
Well done, Amy. I love the positivity.
ReplyDelete- The Thesaurus is good, but for my money nothing beats The Chicago Manual of Style. That thick brick of grammar rules is a life-saver.
Not that I've read it, of course (good Lord, the thing weighs like twelve pounds). But then again, neither has anyone else. And, as the person in the office with a writing degree who knows less about grammar than most immigrants but whom others nonetheless turn to with their style questions, its mere presence on my desk allows me to respond confidently to any and all questions.
Confused by the verb agreement for a compound sentence in which the subject is a parenthetical digression connected with or, nor, or but? Simply add a diphthong to the noun in question.
Unsure of the proper way to change a prepositional idiom into a past participle? Just invert the dependent clause that comes before it by using a passive direct object.
Work Colleague (skeptically):
. . . Really? . . . Because those answers just sound like a bunch of unrelated words loosely strung together.
Kevin (pointing to his copy of The Chicago Manual of Style):
Chicago says so.
Work Colleague (mollified):
Good enough for me.
- As for the hot showers: This may be a gender thing. While I don't dislike hot showers, I'm definitely more appreciative of the function rather than the form of that endeavor.
Hot tubs and jacuzzis, on the other hand, you can keep. How anyone can sit in one of those and not feel like they have just been cast in a low-budget, late-night Cinemax feature is beyond me.
- The police officer letting you slide, though, is something I also wholeheartedly endorse. I had a similar experience when I was sixteen. The only difference was:
A.) Eight unopened cases of beer that an older friend of ours had just purchased for us to take on an upcoming spring break trip to Myrtle Beach were stacked in the back-seat of my car.
&
B.) My two traveling companions were very, very high.
Fortunately, I was completely sober. Unfortunately, I was sixteen and incredibly stupid. As in get-out-of-the-car-and-approach-the-police-cruiser stupid (I should also mention that it was nighttime). And, if you know anything about law enforcement, you know that people who get out of their car during a traffic stop are typically beaten about the head and shoulders with a nightstick while simultaneously being tasered multiple times in the throat (as, I might add, they should be).
Amazingly, the officer simply asked me for my license. Even more amazingly (and actually this part begins to fall a bit into the realm of the unbelievable), he did not seem too overly concerned when, after requesting said license, he watched me drop it, reach down to pick it up, come back up without it (wait, what?), and then reach down again to retrieve it. In fact, if I had to hazard a guess as to his feelings at that exact moment, I'd say they probably fell somewhere between baffled sadness (for the future of this once great land) and abject pity.
That he let me go with just a warning about driving with my headlights off (along with a strong recommendation that I head directly home) was nothing short of miraculous.
- And finally, although it's a small matter, I think it's important to give a bit of context to the cat video link that I forwarded to you. Because, for whatever reason, people who forward cat video links are often unfairly judged by our society.
Sure, I own a cat (lots of people do). And occasionally I do write and publish cat-themed poetry for Cat Fancy magazine and its Spanish-language sister publication, Gato de Lujo (it's nothing more than a creative outlet). And yes, if you checked, you'd find that I hold a minority share of stock in a company (Time to Shine, Feline) that designs and manufactures tiny bow ties for male cats (that's just a smart business move).
But that doesn't make me a "cat person."
. . . If anything, I'm more of a dog person.